A Chef’s Tips for Hosting Your Best Friendsgiving Yet

Maybe it’s due to the nondenominational or chosen-family nature of the holiday, but for our money, the buddies-first riff on Thanksgiving known as Friendsgiving ranks as one of the more easygoing and inclusive of American celebrations. Friendsgiving is breezily void of complicated family baggage, intergenerational bickering, and tired traditions. 

Yet when hosting duties call, that low-stakes vibe can turn chaotic, as pressure to nail a perfectly roasted bird, build a subtle-but-interesting playlist, and create a cool aesthetic mounts. Of course, allowing stress to overshadow the real meaning of the celebration — connecting with friends in gratitude (and over mashed potatoes) — defeats the purpose of hosting at all: Friendsgiving is supposed to be fun, which is why we turned to Chef Tatiana Rosana for sage advice on how to keep Friendsgiving more festive than fraught.

As an acclaimed chef who was recently appointed the first Regional Director of Culinary at Independent Collection Hotels & Resorts, Rosana certainly has the culinary chops to offer fresh takes on one of America’s oldest holidays. To start, the Boston-based chef leads the innovative dining experiences at Rooftop at The Envoy and The Envoy Hotel’s in-room dining, and has recently revamped Peregrine, a European coastal restaurant at The Whitney Hotel in Beacon Hill. 

But Rosana has also created Para Maria, a vivacious global fusion restaurant in the Boston Seaport that draws upon familial hospitality and her own Cuban American culture to create a frothy, but laid-back vibe. In other words, Rosana knows a thing or two about kicking out unforgettable dishes while cultivating the kind of atmosphere that causes people to settle in and let loose. It’s just the tone to strike for a Friendsgiving, and one that’s painlessly achieved with the chef’s top tips for hosting the holiday.

Find Your Five

Between bookmarking recipes, populating Pinterest boards, and consulting cookbooks, it’s easy to balloon a menu to epic and unfeasible proportions. To keep from biting off more than you can bake, sautee, mix, and roast, Rosana suggests doing less. “I know that sounds overly simplistic, but I truly think we make it more complicated for ourselves when it comes to hosting a Friendsgiving,” she says. “Instead, keep it simple by choosing a core of four or five dishes to do really well. It will make the meal easier to host, and the dishes taste better because you’re not trying to do 10 things that turn out mediocre.”

Rethink the Bird

“I know that we all love the image of pulling a turkey out of the oven and placing a giant bird at the center of the table,” Rosana says. But there are other, less labor-intensive ways to provide those flavors. “If you’re hosting a more intimate Friendsgiving, I don’t see anything wrong with swapping out turkey for a roasted chicken. You can still do all the same flavors that you would do with the turkey, but it’s not as overwhelming,” she says. 

For those who absolutely must have turkey? “I am a true believer in spatchcocking it,” she says, of removing the backbone and laying the bird flat, a service that butchers provide. “It cooks more evenly and is so much easier on the part of the host.”

Don’t Be Afraid to Go (a Bit) Off Script

Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy — with Thanksgiving so steeped in traditional dishes, it’s only natural to gravitate toward a menu of greatest hits rather than take outside-the-box risks when meal planning. But Rosana maintains there’s room for both. “In general, people have very visceral memories when it comes to nostalgic food. There’s nothing better than your mom’s cooking or your grandmother’s cooking, but no one will ever do it exactly that way,” she says.  

Instead of facing the pressure of replicating Great Grandma’s cranberry sauce or making the meal all about your personal traditions, Rosana offers another way to satiate nostalgic taste buds. “For Friendsgiving, I think it’s great to draw on some of those emotions and flavors, but in a different way. For example, reimagine sweet potatoes with a little chipotle instead of marshmallows or rather than create a very traditional green bean casserole, use snap peas or asparagus. It will still hit that nostalgia of a more classic dish, but will be different enough for everyone to feel like it’s part of their tradition.”

Cultivate a Communal Spirit

When hosting a dinner party of any kind, it’s easy to shoulder the burden of every single aspect. But when it comes to Friendsgiving, the more help the merrier, Rosana says. “I don’t think that anyone is going to be a master of everything, and when it comes to Friendsgiving, that can cause people to really freak out. But you don’t have to cook everything for everyone.”

Given the communal spirit of the holiday, the notion of sharing some of the responsibility is baked right in. That means supporting a local bakery if pies aren’t your forte, or inviting friends to bring their favorite dish. “Friendsgiving is a great opportunity to lean into potluck style. We should be sharing with each other our traditions,” Rosana says. Other ways to give friends ownership of the experience? Collaborate on a playlist or crowdsource decor: Instead of fussing over an elaborate tablescape, ask friends to bring one bouquet of flowers to the party, then mix and match stems for lively centerpieces.

Make it Laid Back

If Thanksgiving is the holiday for navigating complicated family dynamics, Friendsgiving should be the one that provides a respite from such tension. The trick is to create an easy-going atmosphere. It’s something Rosana has done with Para Maria (meaning, “For Maria” and named in tribute to her grandmother).

“The restaurant is all about family, which for me, includes friends, coworkers, and people I’m breaking bread with,” she says. “One of the things I really try to convey at the restaurant is making it feel like home, making it feel comfortable, and I think a way that you can bring that into Friendsgiving is to not make it so stuffy.”

One way to do it? Make your Friendsgiving a pajama party (because if there’s ever a time to embrace elastic wastebands, it’s during one of the biggest meals of the year.) Or create a calming atmosphere by dimming the lights and adding cozy floor pillows and rugs rather than seasonal tchotchkes. “These are people that you choose to spend time with, so why not make it fun?” Rosana says.

Up Your Pregame

Come the holidays, no one wants to be overwhelmed in the kitchen while mitigating last-minute disasters. But take it from a chef who oversees multiple restaurants: there is a way to avoid kitchen chaos when cooking for a crowd, and getting a head start is key. “I’m a huge believer in starting early. And I don’t mean early in the day, I mean early in the week,” Rosana says. That means preparing anything you can ahead of time.

For example, potatoes can be peeled two to three days ahead of time and left soaking in water. Turkey can be brined a few days in advance, too. “When you start adding up all the easy tasks that you have to do, it ends up being a lot. So anything that you can get done in advance, absolutely do,” she says. “If everything’s prepped and ready to be thrown in the oven and warmed up on the day of, then it frees up time to enjoy the day a lot more.”  

Take Smart Shortcuts

Save bespoke service for hosting a friend or two at a time. When accommodating a crew, a few clever shortcuts can go a long way to making a more seamless experience. For one, try prelining any baking dishes you plan to use with parchment or foil as a way to streamline cleanup. “You can line pretty much anything you’re cooking with in the parchment,” Rosana says. “It makes cleanup so simple, because you literally just lift up that parchment and toss it.”

Another savvy time saver to cut your workload? “Batching cocktails is a huge game changer,” Rosana says. She suggests offering one prebatched signature cocktail, which makes creating drinks as easy as pouring the blend over ice.

Channel Fine Dining For Less

If breaking out the fine china feels too formal and flinging out a stack of paper plates feels too collegiate, meet in the middle with mismatched plates and silverware scored from thrift stores. “It’s a way to really add character to the night, while still feeling fancy,” Rosana says. While scouring second-hand shops, be sure to pick up a couple of gravy boats to elevate your dining experience. “There’s just something about [a gravy boat] that feels very fine dining, even though you’re in your living room,” she says.

Don’t Overthink Dessert

“I think dessert is the place where people tend to get tripped up when it comes to a Friendsgiving meal, maybe because we spend so much time focusing on the turkey,” Rosana says. Then there’s the pressure that comes with baking pies: If one could spend a lifetime trying to perfect a flaky crust and still not be satisfied, why take on that challenge when hosting on a holiday?

Rosana says when thinking of dessert to serve, it’s helpful to “step back and realize that people just want a little something sweet to eat at the end of a meal.” One of her favorite workarounds for complicated baking?  “I love a good ice cream sundae bar,” she says. “Maybe it doesn’t scream ‘Thanksgiving’, but you can stock it with seasonal flavors (like caramel and spiced apples) to make it feel like fall, and it’s the easiest thing in the world.” What’s more, the dessert choice allows people to fill their own bowls, which frees the host from having to serve another course.  

Keep Perspective

It’s easy to get caught up in the mechanics of a meal and lose sight of what the holiday is all about: enjoying time with your friends. “Food is very important for me —I’m a chef! — but it’s the experiences that I’m creating around that food that matter most,” Rosana says. “If you can remember that, then you’ll have a much better evening, because it absolutely takes the pressure off.” After the bulk of the work is done and friends have piled into your home, try this gratitude practice: forget about what’s on the plate and immerse yourself in the company you’ve created. It’s a foolproof way of observing in-the-moment thanks.

This holiday season, make yourself at home at The Envoy or The Whitney, where Chef Tatiana Rosana brings her relaxed, flavorful approach to every table. Explore more culinary experiences at Independent Collection Hotels & Resorts and taste what makes each destination unique.